Humor: The Evolution of a Programmer

[pll at lanminds.com]

High School/Jr.High

 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
 20 END

 
First year in College
 
 program Hello(input, output)
   begin
     writeln('Hello World')
   end.


Senior year in College
 
 (defun hello
   (print
     (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))
 

New professional
 
 #include <stdio.h>
 void main(void)
 {
   char *message[]  {"Hello ", "World"};
   int i;

   for(i  0; i < 2; ++i)
     printf("%s", message[i]);
   printf("\n");
 }

 
Seasoned professional
 
 #include <iostream.h>
 #include <string.h>

 class string
 {
 private:
   int size;
   char *ptr;

 public:
   string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}

   string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
   {
     ptr  new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
   }

   ~string()
   {
     delete [] ptr;
   }

   friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
   string &operator(const char *);
 };

 ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
 {
   return(stream << s.ptr);
 }

 string &string::operator(const char *chrs)
 {
   if (this ! &chrs)
   {
     delete [] ptr;
    size  strlen(chrs);
     ptr  new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, chrs);
   }
   return(*this);
 }

 int main()
 {
   string str;

   str  "Hello World";
   cout << str << endl;

   return(0);
 }

 
Master Programmer

 [
 uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
 ]
 library LHello
 {
     // bring in the master library
     importlib("actimp.tlb");
     importlib("actexp.tlb");

     // bring in my interfaces
     #include "pshlo.idl"

     [
     uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
     ]
     cotype THello
  {
  interface IHello;
  interface IPersistFile;
  };
 };

 [
 exe,
 uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
 ]
 module CHelloLib
 {

     // some code related header files
     importheader(<windows.h>);
     importheader(<ole2.h>);
     importheader(<except.hxx>);
     importheader("pshlo.h");
     importheader("shlo.hxx");
     importheader("mycls.hxx");

     // needed typelibs
     importlib("actimp.tlb");
     importlib("actexp.tlb");
     importlib("thlo.tlb");

     [
     uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
     aggregatable
     ]
     coclass CHello
  {
  cotype THello;
  };
 };
>
 #include "ipfix.hxx"

 extern HANDLE hEvent;

 class CHello : public CHelloBase
 {
 public:
     IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

     CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
     ~CHello();

     HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

 private:
     static int cObjRef;
 };

 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include <stdio.h>
 #include <stdlib.h>
 #include "thlo.h"
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "mycls.hxx"

 int CHello::cObjRef  0;

 CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
 {
     cObjRef++;
     return;
 }

 HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
 {
     printf("%ws\n", pwszString);
     return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
 }


 CHello::~CHello(void)
 {

 // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
 cObjRef--;
 if( cObjRef  0 )
     PulseEvent(hEvent);

 return;
 }

 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "mycls.hxx"

 HANDLE hEvent;

  int _cdecl main(
 int argc,
 char * argv[]
 ) {
 ULONG ulRef;
 DWORD dwRegistration;
 CHelloCF *pCF  new CHelloCF();

 hEvent  CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

 // Initialize the OLE libraries
 CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

 CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF,
CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
     REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

 // wait on an event to stop
 WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

 // revoke and release the class object
 CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
 ulRef  pCF->Release();

 // Tell OLE we are going away.
 CoUninitialize();

 return(0); }

 extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
 extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

 CLSID CLSID_CHello  { /*573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
     0x2573F891,
     0xCFEE,
     0x101A,
     { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
 };

 UUID LIBID_CHelloLib  { /*
2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
     0x2573F890,
     0xCFEE,
     0x101A,
     { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
 };

 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include <stdlib.h>
 #include <string.h>
 #include <stdio.h>
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "clsid.h"

 int _cdecl main(
 int argc,
 char * argv[]
 ) {
 HRESULT  hRslt;
 IHello        *pHello;
 ULONG  ulCnt;
 IMoniker * pmk;
 WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
 WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

 // get object path
 wcsPath[0]  '\0';
 wcsT[0]  '\0';
 if( argc > 1) {
     mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
     wcsupr(wcsPath);
     }
 else {
     fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
     return(1);
     }

 // get print string
 if(argc > 2)
     mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
 else
     wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

 printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
 printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

 // Initialize the OLE libraries
 hRslt  CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

 if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {


     hRslt  CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
     if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
  hRslt  BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void**)&pHello);

     if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

  // print a string out
  pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

  Sleep(2000);
  ulCnt  pHello->Release();
  }
     else
  printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

     // Tell OLE we are going away.
     CoUninitialize();
     }
>
 return(0);
 }
 
Apprentice Hacker
 
 #!/usr/local/bin/perl
 $msg"Hello, world.\n";
 if ($#ARGV > 0) {
   while(defined($argshift(@ARGV))) {
     $outfilename  $arg;
     open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
     print (FILE $msg);
     close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
   }
 } else {
   print ($msg);
 }
 1;
 
Experienced Hacker
 
 #include <stdio.h>
 #define S "Hello, World\n"
 main(){exit(printf(S)  strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}
 
Seasoned Hacker
 
 % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
 % a.out
 
Guru Hacker
 
 % cat
 Hello, world.
 ^D

New Manager
 
 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
 20 END

Middle Manager
 
 mail -s "Hello, world." bob at b12
 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello,world."?
 I need it by tomorrow.
 ^D
 The end of the document is already being displayed.
 
Senior Manager
 
 % zmail jim
 I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.
 
Chief Executive
 
 % letter
 letter: Command not found.
 % mail
 To: ^X ^F ^C
 % help mail
 help: Command not found.
 % damn!
 !: Event unrecognized
 % logout