Update to How FOSS users do it, apropos of SCO, et al. ;-)

Lee D. Rothstein lee at veritech.com
Tue May 20 16:52:07 EDT 2003



--
Lee D. Rothstein -- lee at veritech.com
VeriTech -- 603-424-2900
7 Merry Meeting Drive
Merrimack, NH 03054-2934
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   ============================================================
   Free & Open Source -- FOSS -- Users How do they do thee? Let
                            me count the ways.
   ============================================================

  01.  Linux users do it demonically.

  02.  Linux users do it 1-way, 2-way, ... n-way!

  03.  Linux users do it symmetrically and in parallel.

  04.  FOSS users do it electronically.

  05.  Linux users do it with or without mice!

  06.  Linux users do it without paying for it.

  07.  When Linux users do it, they keep it up longer.

  08.  GNU and Linux users do it openly.

  09.  Linux users are known to do it with root permission.

  10.  GNU users go to the source to do it.

  11.  Linux users do it with more capacity.

  12.  When GNU users do it, there's no need for support.

  13.  Eternal virgins!  Every time is a GNU time for a Linux
       user.

  14.  GNU users do it in 'tar'.

  15.  Linux users do it super.

  16.  GNU & Linux users can always do it, because they're never
       UNIX (eunuchs).

  17.  Linux users do it with or without GUIs.

  18.  Linux and GNU users do it with drivers, at high- speed,
       flex-ibly, and without crashing.

  19.  Linux users never do it with Bill Gates -- no matter what
       sex they are; or "he" allegedly is.

  20.  When FOSS users charge for doing it -- it's well worth it.

  21.  When Perl users do it, there's nothing BASIC about it.

  22.  Are FOSS users any good at doing it? Talk about your love
       snake ... Why do you suppose so many Linux users are said
       to be good with Python?

  23.  Linux users do it with any sized computer -- clusters,
       parallel servers, desktop, notebook, palm- top, and
       matchbox.

  24.  Thanks to GNU, all Linux users are eternally horny. Hence,
       they do it all the time.

  25.  Every Linux user has at least a kernel of an idea on how
       to do it.

  26.  When Linux users do it they can scale up to the size of
       the enterprise. It not only impressed Microsoft Research,
       it impressed Masters & Johnson.

  27.  Some say Linux and GNU users do it kinky because of
       'bash', but they're never sadistic.

  28.  Linux users do it on the ground -- fore- or back-.

  29.  Linux users do it with either 32- or 64-bits!

  30.  Linux users do it many ways, but never in HURDs.

  31.  When Linux users do it, they are never accused of having a
       micro-kernel!

  32.  Linux users often do it professionally.

  33.  While some Linux users do it with old hardware, they
       always do it with fine performance.

  34.  When Linux users do it, they love their OS instead of
       being f__ked by it.

  35.  No matter how long they've been at it, Linux users always
       find a GNU way to do it.

  36.  Linux users do it AC or DC (portables).

  37.  Linux users do it in groups (LUGs)!

  38.  Linux users do it in clusters.

  39.  Linux users do it with interrupts and preemptively.

  40.  Linux users even do it with pipes and filters.

  41.  Linux users do it with no strings attached, although
       there may be threads.

  42.  Even though Linux users can do it, they're UNIX-
       (eunuchs-) compatible.

  43.  Linux users do it with software.

  44.  Linux users do it with bits, data structures,
       threads, processes, process groups, objects or
       demons.

  45.  Linux users can do it with a fork and a bash, but
       without pain.

  46.  When Linux users do it, they spawn.

  47.  While they're doing it, Linux users can also signal,
       message, pipe, stream, RPC, socket, or otherwise
       communicate. How's that for intercourse?

  48.  Linux users do it all over the world --
       simultaneously.

  49.  When Linux users do it, there's always GNU inside,
       even when they use protection [memory].

  50.  Whenever Linux users do it, they always Finnish up
       neatly, because all the GNU remains inside.

  51.  GNU users do it with or without a commercial kernel.

  52.  Some GNU users do it in HURDs, while others Finnish
       up.

  53.  Some Linux users complain that RMS is trying to do it
       to them, but RMS mostly complains that Linux users
       are mostly doing it to him.  [Most Linux users love
       him, just the same. :-|]

  54.  Speaking of how GNU and Linux users do it, at least
       one GNU user, claims he GNU Linux (in the biblical
       sense), before Linus did.

  55.  At least one GNU & Linux user refuses to do it in the
       cathedral, but while others partially agree with him;
       they still claim he is doing it bizarrely -- just the
       same.

  56.  When Linux users do it, they release early and often.

  57.  When GNU and Linux users do it, they don't need a
       special license.

  58.  Linux users show others how to do it.

  59.  Linux users do it, swap, and then do it some more.

  60.  When Linux users do it, they like it SCSI (scuzzy).

  61.  Some Linux users do it with a Red Hat on.

  62.  FOSS users do it softly.

  63.  Some FOSS scripting users feel that they do it as Perls
       before SWINE (Subpar Windows INteractive Execution).

  64.  FOSS users do it religiously. GNU users do it
       in cathedrals. Some have a SEUL (Simple End-User
       Linux). Others do it at the Perly Gates [Perl on MS-
       Windows].

  65.  FOSS users, prior to doing it, 'make' 'a.out'.

  66.  GNU and Linux users do it openly and freely arguing
       the entire while about which is more important or
       relevant -- openness or freeness.

  67.  GNU shell users do it un-a-bash-edly.

  68.  When FOSS users do it 'lint' may be found, but
       fluff is left to Microsoft.

  69.  When Perl users do it, they make sure they're not
       doing it in a taint-ed way.

  70.  Apache users do it without hostility, but fending off
       attacks, deftly.

  71.  Struts users do it with great support.

  72.  Ant users do it in unbelievably large groups,
       lifting that which is done to with mass hundreds of
       times their personal code weight!

  73.  Poseiden users are 'model' citizens and do it
       collaboratively and with great etiquette, in C (sea),
       or out of it, without any help from Shelly Winters or
       other allegedly Rational beings.

  74.  Jakarta users do it with massive doses of Java, yet
       they remain calm and always know their Beans.

  75.  Some FOSS scripting users are tcl-ed (tickled)
       when they do it.

  76.  FOSS users, when they do it, can see the
       Forrest & the trees (of code).

  77.  Turbine users really move when they do it, but they
       never Wine (whine).

  78.  Turbine users always generate Torque when they do it,
       but not all Torque users use Turbine. Both never need
       "lubricate" Microsoft before they do it.

  79.  Some Turbine users, when they do it, avoid Torque,
       and gain leverage with Fulcrum.

  80.  Maven user are so gung ho, that they do it within and
       across groups.

  81.  Many Jakarta users do it with great Velocity.

  82.  While most Apache users that do it, do so with Linux,
       others do it with UNIX, NT, OS/390, and VMS.

  83.  While some Apache users do it with Tomcats, none are
       promiscuous and hence won't do it with Bill.

  84.  When Tex, LaTex, and Ghostscript users do it, they
       lay it all out for everyone to see, and they use
       perfect form.  Needless to say, style points are
       always awarded!

  85.  When Gimp users do it, they are never *hobbled* by
       Draconian proprietary licenses.

  86.  OpenOffice users do it in the office, at home, at
       airports, even on trains and planes. They even do it
       in French! Not to mention English, German, Czech,
       Spanish, Bulgarian, etc.

       If size matters, they don't have to do it in inches,
       they can do it in millimeters, or points. Further,
       they can do it with numbers, fonts, formats, fields,
       equations, tables, and they can do it with or without
       regressing.

  87.  FOSS users do it frequently, well, long, and
       with great passion despite busy schedules and the
       vagaries of required intercourse with Microsoft
       (alleged) applications.

       They *manage* to do it with this degree of intensity
       because of Jemos, Ant, CVS, Maven, make, etc.

  88.  FOSS users do it economically.

  89.  JBoss & Jakarta users do it modularly, and with
       components.

  90.  PostGreS users do it SQL-entially, while Apache users
       do it in parallel.

  91.  Gimp users can do it with pixels, arcs, or vectors.

  92.  Red Hat users do it with great RPMs.

  93.  When SCO management does it, they attempt to do it in
       court. But they fail miserably, while the entire FOSS
       community cheers their failure and jeers their abject
       ignorance and malevolence.

  94.  When RPM "members" are "injured", they can use 'splint',
       to do it.

Lee Rothstein, openenterprise.org, creator & editor
Suggestions &  corrections gratefully, accepted
Copy, in wjole or in part, with attribution


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